His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize