When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize