dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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