My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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