nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
