Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
