Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
