That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
