i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
honey bunches of taint.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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