WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
