I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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