i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
