I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
