My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
