Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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