yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
