apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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