i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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