If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
