If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
3pm strippers are depressing
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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