i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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