Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
