There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
