he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
