Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
