with your own penis?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
