i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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