tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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