I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
