Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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