i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
