I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
this is an emotional support booty call
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
