Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
