Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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