I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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