So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize