i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
