Who wears a wallet chain?!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
