i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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