if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
