You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
