OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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