If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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