I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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