you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize