Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
