omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
