WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
