My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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