so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
