No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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