I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
be right there i have to get my cape
I currently don't understand fingers.
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