We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
