): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Boobs are out for the taking
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize