If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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