i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
