drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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