Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
